Qualities

   As a newly single lady, I’m experiencing an overflow of offers! Relationship offers. (And lewd, sleazy comments.) You’d think I’d be flattered and encouraged about the dating world I now get to experience but I’m really just overwhelmed and almost discouraged. I get in this way, where I can’t get past the initial excitement of “Oh my god, someone is interested in ME? I better reciprocate; this doesn’t tend to happen for me. Really, who would be interested in these damaged goods?” It’s really a terrible way to do things. That’s why that’s not how I’m doing things anymore.

   I keep telling myself “Don’t accept scraps!” I’m not damaged goods. I’m just complex. Wise for my age, even. Just because someone is interested in me or has some qualities I love (and some I don’t) doesn’t mean I need to jump right in and accept something or someone who is less than right for me. Damn it, I deserve the whole package and so does my future partner! Besides, I’m newly single and I really need a serious relationship like a hole in the head….That is why I am making a list of the qualities I want in a partner. A list of requirements, if you will. I think we all have one but it’s hard to be honest and admit, “Hey. I want and expect a lot out of my partner to be.” This is someone you’ll be spending an awful lot of time with. Someone you’re trusting your heart with! You better be honest with yourself BEFORE you start dating, instead of several years in. If you only want a man with blue eyes, loves dogs, and never wants children, then you better find someone who meets those qualifications. A relationship is a two way street and you know to put your best foot forward. You should always want and expect a lot of yourself. Why not find someone who expects the same things of themselves?

   Sure my list is insanely specific and asking a lot of a person but am I in a hurry to find another person? No. I should be working on completing myself and being my OWN support system. Relationships are supposed to add to your life, not BE your life. Should I come across someone, though, you better believe I’m making sure they have the qualities I’m looking for because settling does not make for a happy future.

   I’m looking for a man who is kind and generous and thoughtful and patient. A man with depth and an understanding of what it means to struggle and pull through. I’m looking for a man who absolutely loves kids, can enjoy Disneyland trips with me, and likes to watch the occasional cartoon or two. Must have delicious arms and a cute butt. I’m looking for someone who can make me laugh but who doesn’t make jokes at other people’s expense. I’m looking for an intelligent man who doesn’t need to remind everyone just how smart he really is. I’m looking for someone who’s not too big on politics but keeps up. He must be pro gay marriage, not “grossed out” by RuPaul’s Drag Race, and is pro choice. He’s got to have his shit together. He must have a passion, be passionate, and be somewhat creative. He’s got to love driving around with loud music and the windows down. Must love dancing with me.  He’s got to be totally masculine! Must love hitting the gym and knows how to eat healthy, but not too healthy! He’s got to be thoughtful enough to occasionally see romantic movies with me, surprise me with flowers and love letters, and he absolutely must love Christmas. Must be down to earth. He’s got to be a snappy dresser and at least 5’10”! Must respect women. He’s got to call me on my shit in a way that makes me both more aware of my behavior, and more comfortable in my relationship. He’s got to be a decent communicator. Must be a bit of a foodie, or at least not at all a picky eater! He’s got to love being goofy and serious. He’s got to be faithful, respectful, nurturing, and insightful. Must love animals! He’s got to love my quirkiness and be beyond proud of the woman I am. He’s got to think I’m a fox and know that I work hard on myself. He’s got to appreciate me and know that I appreciate him. He’s got to be my partner. Must love sweets! Must enjoy Indian food and ethnic food in general. Must be spontaneous but also extremely consistent. Must have time to be in a relationship! Has to love cuddling and falling asleep together. Has to like the way I look with and without makeup and cute outfits. He has to treat me like an adult. Most importantly, he’s got to be loving.