Over the past three or four days, I have received, literally, close to 100 stories from abuse and sexual abuse survivors. You've seen some of their stories. Some wish to remain anonymous and I'm going to respect that. Whether or not you want to share your trauma with the world, if you need a kind ear to listen to what you've been through, what you're going through, or something you need help getting away from: please contact me at stargee@me.com.
I am not a therapist and I don't have all the answers. But I am and will be your fierce friend if that's what you need. If you are dating someone who has been abused and you don't know what to do or say, if you're afraid of hurting your partner when it comes to having sex and potentially furthering the damage that's been to them- feel free to ask me as many questions as you have in your arsenal.
When I was at the place where I knew I needed to get away from my family, I really didn't have anyone to turn to who had been where I was. There was no book to read. No manual or set of rules. I felt alone. Let me help you feel less alone.
Keep sending in your stories. You wouldn't believe how many people have told me they've personally helped them start to heal or feel less isolated.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Getting Fit and Less Obsessed: Getting Ready to Lose the Weight
I've kind of been in hiding. I miss or put off appointments with friends, avoid outings where bikini's are involved, and I hate going to the doctors because I know when I step on the scale, I haven't lost weight- I've gained weight. I feel really fat and really gross and kind of ashamed of the fact that I keep promising myself that I'll start losing the weight and sticking to a plan, but I haven't yet. Starting this blog has already helped me keep myself on a schedule. I get things out when I say I will, I make sure to get back to all of you when you send me your questions, and I've been on time to all my appointments this week! But it's only been a week, and that's my infamous cycle. I'm kick ass for a week and then I fall flat on my face.
Before I moved out, I weighed 115 and I always felt fat. At that point, my therapist diagnosed me with "body dysmorphia" and said that I had a real problem with being honest with myself about what I looked like. If you knew me two years ago, you probably heard me say "I feel really overweight and un-attractive." I really hurt and looking in the mirror was something I didn't like to do. Looking back, I realize I was a good weight and I was beautiful. Now I have the tools to love how I look and enjoy the results of the work I put into myself, so it's the right time to get in shape and finally feel like I deserve to say "I am beautiful."
Because I have the tendency to be dishonest with myself about how I look, sometimes I'll have gained weight and I won't be able to see it. Sometimes, I'll lose weight and I won't be able to see it or remember what I looked like two days ago, or a month ago. I always feel like I've plateaued and I'm not making any progress.
This upcoming Monday, May 16th- I'll be starting my workout plan and this time I'll stick to it (because I've publicly announced it!) Every Monday- I'll post a picture of what I look like that Monday so you and I can see the progress (or lack there of.....but hopefully not) I'm making. I'll also post my rewards program I've made for myself, my up to date weight, the kinds of foods I'm eating (and some recipes too), my workouts, and how things are going.
I invite all of you to join me. Come work out with me in the mornings, come over and cook a healthy yummy meal, call me up when it gets tough or you kinda want to eat half a chocolate cake. I'd really love the company and the support too! If you'd like to post your progress and success with losing the weight you want to lose, go ahead and send in your pictures and info every week! I want to encourage all of you to be healthy and happy. I'm not going to make the mistake of avoiding tasty treats all together, under eating and over exercising, or trying to lose the weight faster than is really possible or healthy. Please don't make that mistake either. I've done it way too many times.
Before you start trying to lose the weight and get in shape, please hop online and look up what weight and calorie intake is healthy for you. I'm 5'2", female (obviously), 19, and my ideal weight range is 105 lbs-125lbs. I weigh 130 lbs now and my goal is 105 lbs - 110 lbs.
Email me at stargee@me.com if you're interested in making a plan with me. Check my blog out Monday, May 16th to see what I look like (kinda blubbery) and what my rewards system and workout plan is going to be!
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