Now, I know most of you out there (luckily) will never have to live with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend but here's a few facts about what it's like. I'm sure you'll have a laugh or two. I know I didn't.
1) Remember to act like you feel AWESOME. Wear your highest heels. Put on your favorite perfume. Dress like you're getting laid EVERY DAY! Do squats and pushups real fast before he comes home. Casually toss your hair like you ooze sex appeal and have not ONE worry in the world. Strut yo' stuff.
2) Remind yourself he is your EX boyfriend for a reason. Sure he smells great, looks better than he did before, and for some stupid ass reason walks around the house shirtless. He still forgets to flush, makes you insecure because he's insecure, and is boring as all hell. Remember that bigger and better things await you and you don't need to be taking steps backwards just because he's presenting his best self.
3) Cry very quietly when your ex is within earshot! I learned this the hard way. Getting caught sobbing over what used to be and could have been is rather embarrassing. Especially when he requests you quiet down so he can call his new girlfriend....
4) For God's sake, don't stay in. Living with your ex-boyfriend is a total mind fuck. All of the sudden you think you wish he'd notice you, you start hoping he'll engage in conversation with you. Maybe he'll say you look pretty today! Maybe you'll have some sort of movie moment where he catches a glimpse of you out of the corner of his eye and he walks up to you, grabs you, and gives you the most firework-y kiss of your life and says something like, "I made a mistake. I don't want her. I want you. It's always been you. Please take me back!" Psshtt.....Woman, not only are you dreaming, but you're setting yourself up for several teary-eyed dates with Ben & Jerry's because if he didn't know you were the one when you were together, he's certainly not going to come to the realization now. Remember, he's not the one who doesn't want you back. YOU don't want HIM back! Go out, have some fun, have a good cry in your car, and surround yourself with people who CURRENTLY know how to appreciate a good woman when they have one.
5) Feel free to make fun of your ex as much as you want. Go for it! Have fun, I know I do. Okay, be fair and appropriate and don't make it a habit but confide in a close girlfriend or two and laugh at that poor boy's expense. Come on, it'll make you feel better.
6) Be honest with yourself. Being around an ex boyfriend can make you feel all sorts of things. Some of those feelings are valid, and some of those are feelings that have been created because of the environment you're in. Yes, you probably miss parts of his personality and some of what you two were like as a couple but was it really as glamorous as you're making it out to be now that you're broken up? Odds are, he wasn't all that and a bag of chips and you're probably relieved to be moving on. Keep moving on!
7) Try not to live with your ex boyfriend. It sucks.
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